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Thursday
Aug232012

Blogs.....

I really love stats. I don’t know why, but they are just really interesting to me.  It’s really odd on a lot of levels, because I am not the greatest at math and some of my greatest struggles have come from math.  I just like stats because they really don’t lie to you that often, and you can use them to tell a story.  They are like words, but more simple and elegant in many ways.  Now I am waxing poetic about stats, so you know this is going to be an interesting blog.

The really awesome thing I want to make sure I get out of the way is that I get to take Chinese this spring and I couldn’t be happier about it.  That’s not actually an exaggeration, I really couldn’t be happier about it at all.  I love that I get to actually keep learning a language I find really fascinating, and just overall learn more about a culture and people that act in more of a way that I think people should.  It’s going to be tough though because I have to teach myself Chinese this semester to make sure I am ready for everything, and I don’t know how that is going to go. I am currently trying to set up a good routine to get in, because now that this happened I have to completely redo everything it thought I was going to be doing.

I had an interesting conversation about this with Greg last night, and just how lucky we are sometimes, and how we really don’t realize it when it happens a lot.  It takes a lot of discipline to really be thankful for what you have, and actually appreciate the moments when you get really lucky and when people do things for you.  So often what happens is that we get really happy about it happening, but then really don’t take time to thank God, and everyone who had a hand it making it happen.  For me, to get into Chinese took a lot of luck, because I had to get someone to move a class for me next semester.  I am very happy, but I make sure I took time to thank those I should, because, really, I am not sure I totally deserve to have it happen to me.

I suppose that this happening is also a testament to the power of asking.  A lot of people are afraid to put themselves out there or to try to get something changed, because they don’t see a point in it.  Fact is, there are more people than you realize that are willing to help you.  You have to put yourself out there for sure though and it can be scary, but it will never be traumatizing, because the worst they can say is no, and if you can’t take someone telling you “no” then perhaps you should fix a few other things in your life as well.  Fact is though; people will do a lot for you if you are nice and really ask them.  If you don’t ask though, good luck getting anything changed.

This weekend is going to be a full one and I am really looking forward to it on a lot of levels.  I have a lot to do, but I think I can really get down to business and make some major headway in a few projects I am working on.  One of those projects is trying to put together an encyclopedia of poker knowledge for all newcomers.  It’s going to take a lot of time to get things form people and make sure I cover all of my bases, but I think it will be more than worth it to have it all in one area.  Perhaps I can get a modding for it as well. Haha, I doubt I will and kind of do and don’t want it at the same time.

I have a few things to do tonight so I better get moving on that.  Can’t decide how productive tonight is going to be, but hoping it will prove to be really successful, but you never really know with me.

Monday
Aug202012

Monday
Aug202012

Monday
Aug202012

Monday
Aug202012

Total BA!

Monday
Aug202012

Monday
Aug202012

Contemplative Blog

I know the blog is a day late, but it’s just because things got really busy yesterday and not because I am doing less overall. I posted my baseball article the other day, so at least I managed to get some stuff done. I still have my poker article to finish and my NL preview article to post for baseball as well. So really, I have a lot on my table right now, and this doesn’t even begin to include that school start Friday, I’m still working full-time, and I have been trying to get going on my daily goals.

One of my most interesting goals is I am trying to weigh 160 lbs. by Christmas time.  I have about 24 pounds to go, which is going to be really hard, because I need to eat 2.7k calories per day to get up that, and of course that if I don’t workout, which I do every day, so really I probably need something like 3.3-3.6k calories per day to gain that kind of weight, and that’s really hard to do unless you eat Jimmy Johns every day or something.  Did I mention that I am also trying to stay in shape and eat right?  Yep, this is going to be really hard to actually pull off. I think if I do get up to the goal weight I am going to get another tattoo, I have a few ideas but I will probably settle on something when I have bit more time to think it over.  I always like making incentives for me, so this is my incentive.  I’m just trying to go the opposite way of most people.

I have had my Galaxy SIII for about a week now and I like it, but there are a few fun bugs that really annoy me.  I kind of hope it gets better with some updates that they should roll out, but right now I will not say it’s the best phone ever made, because it freezes in weird places sometimes, and just overall the experience is good, but it’s not great.  I like my Blackberry from 4 years ago a little bit more, to be honest.  I won’t trade this phone, because I like it more than I did my iPod Touch and its iOS, and there are enough good things to keep me coming back.  Further, I figured work arounds for most of what I need to, so really, I can’t complain too much.

A problem I struggled with a lot the past 5 or so years was always comparing myself to other people and getting down on myself for not doing as well as other people and always feel like I am worse than people around me.  The reason this gets brought up now is that even though I have worked through it a few people I know are going through the same thing.  It’s a really difficult thing though, because I see what is happening to them, but there isn’t a lot you can really do.  I have been there, and it just takes a lot of work and a lot of support to get through it.  The first key is really getting told enough you are doing things right, and that you are just as good as others.  You needed really good support systems around you for this to happen though, and you need people who have an interest in seeing you succeed.

The other thing you need which is really just as important is that you need people around you who are also not going to take you down a peg for no reason.  You need those people out of your life, because you will always compare yourself to others if the people around you are doing the same always throwing it in your face.  I think it’s a delicate balance and it takes a lot of hard work to overcome, but it is something that is doable.  I look back at my time struggling with it big time and just kind of am sad now.  I realize how much I couldn’t do because I didn’t have the confidence to see the worth in myself.  Some of it was caused by things around me, and some of it came from my own inabilities to see my worth.  Overall, I wasted a lot of time though, and I don’t dislike people for putting me in the situation, because something I realize now is that things happen the way they do for a reason, and just take everything as a positive.  Make it work for you, not the other way around.  Also, be thankful for what you do have, because when you aren’t, you lose sight of what is important and how important you are too people.  That’s probably the biggest thing.  If you tell everyone that you suck, then the people who really do believe in you feel worse about themselves because it’s pretty clear you don’t value what they think.

That ended up being somewhat heavier than I wanted it to, but I hope that people I know who are struggling with it kind of think about it.  The one major work around that I found for myself was sitting up reachable and measurable goals and then when I managed to accomplish them I realized I was doing well enough for what I expected.  When you set up goals that you can actually reach and tell when you reach them you get more form them.  It’s something to say you want to be more social, but in reality that means nothing because it’s not really measurable.  If you make a goal for hanging out with people though, then you can see if you are making positive traction in that area.  Once you just start doing it you don’t have to continue with the goals because it just becomes natural, but it’s starting points to build habits.  I still use goals pretty heavily, because I know myself well enough to know I need them to really help me move through the week on a consistent pace.

I guess when I look at it I have struggled with a lot of the major insecurities that people have, I just have a different way of reacting to them, but I have dealt with insecurities with my: money, looks, weight, height, clothes, intelligence, you name it, I have had it really.    I like that I only have a few of them left, but I guess, I feel bad for everyone struggling with them because I don’ t have a lot of good advice on how to get rid of it.  I had good people around me and realized that I should care about other things.  It was hard though, and really I guess it helped me a lot in the long run, but I just wish I could put how I overcame things into a way that could help people more.  Everyone says I do a good job at helping, but I wish I had more positive results in terms of noticeable change.  Time it takes, I must remind myself.

Well, this ended up being much longer than I wanted it to be.  Have a good day everyone.

Thursday
Aug162012

Two Funny Dubs of "Call Me Maybe"

Thursday
Aug162012

Happy Blog

SO this will be a rather sort blog because it is later on a Thursday night and I have work and whatever tomorrow. I have been pretty enthralled with my new phone of late and really just trying to take it easy before getting back on track this weekend.  School starts in less than a week now and I am really getting into the final stages of what I want things to look like in a few weeks, months, and semesters’ times.  Not everything is as easy as I would like it, but overall, I see no way in which I can really complain.

I got the Galaxy SIII and I have to say that it is pretty awesome. I also got an old school Nintendo case for it so it really does look like I have one when it’s in my hand or I lay it on the desk.  I have heard it called the best phone ever made and while I do think it’s really good, I don’t know if I am willing to go that far.  The thing is, I don’t know how it could do to make me happy. I was happy with the investment and I think it was a better choice than an iPhone, which isn’t something I thought I would say 2 months ago.  The screen size really is awesome, and even though it’s significantly bigger than my iPod, I don’t notice it as much as I thought I would when it’s in my pocket.

I haven’t played too much poker in the past few days, but when I did play it was pretty profitable.  I have been studying a lot the past week, because I plan on playing a lot this weekend and I haven’t been concentrated enough to really play my A game, so since I played so much last weekend I figured I could take it easy on hands for a few days and just look at some mistakes I made and work form there.  While I am still down total $ wise, I am up after rakeback and I am getting a lot closer to overall up, so if I have a decent weekend I should be able to get even like I would rally like.  The weird thing is I am down in 5 of the stakes I have played but not down more than 15 big bets in any of them, so it’s not like I really have that far to go in everything.  (I am also up at 2/4, so that helps.)

The goals thing is really interesting now because I am really seeing how full my schedule is and I think I have something figured out, but you always worry you might be planning so much that you won’t actually achieve it.  See, one thing I really hate is that I might fail at something and feel like I let myself down.  I have been getting better about managing what I think I can, and honestly, I could not be happier with life than I am right now, so I am fine with trying to do too much.

That thought on life, I really mean that right now.  I have a job, am engaged, doing well in school, and have poker to keep my occupied.  I really do have nice things, and I couldn’t be happier with where life is headed.  Sure, it isn’t perfect, but life never is and I think waiting for it to be perfect is just going to cause you to want endlessly and never be satisfied. I am really just going to look at what I have and how things could have gone and thank God for everything ad how lucky I am.  Life is good, and I hope it continues this way.

I guess it wasn't as short as i thought it woudl be....

Sunday
Aug122012