Recent Changes

Monday
Aug202012

Total BA!

Monday
Aug202012

Monday
Aug202012

Contemplative Blog

I know the blog is a day late, but it’s just because things got really busy yesterday and not because I am doing less overall. I posted my baseball article the other day, so at least I managed to get some stuff done. I still have my poker article to finish and my NL preview article to post for baseball as well. So really, I have a lot on my table right now, and this doesn’t even begin to include that school start Friday, I’m still working full-time, and I have been trying to get going on my daily goals.

One of my most interesting goals is I am trying to weigh 160 lbs. by Christmas time.  I have about 24 pounds to go, which is going to be really hard, because I need to eat 2.7k calories per day to get up that, and of course that if I don’t workout, which I do every day, so really I probably need something like 3.3-3.6k calories per day to gain that kind of weight, and that’s really hard to do unless you eat Jimmy Johns every day or something.  Did I mention that I am also trying to stay in shape and eat right?  Yep, this is going to be really hard to actually pull off. I think if I do get up to the goal weight I am going to get another tattoo, I have a few ideas but I will probably settle on something when I have bit more time to think it over.  I always like making incentives for me, so this is my incentive.  I’m just trying to go the opposite way of most people.

I have had my Galaxy SIII for about a week now and I like it, but there are a few fun bugs that really annoy me.  I kind of hope it gets better with some updates that they should roll out, but right now I will not say it’s the best phone ever made, because it freezes in weird places sometimes, and just overall the experience is good, but it’s not great.  I like my Blackberry from 4 years ago a little bit more, to be honest.  I won’t trade this phone, because I like it more than I did my iPod Touch and its iOS, and there are enough good things to keep me coming back.  Further, I figured work arounds for most of what I need to, so really, I can’t complain too much.

A problem I struggled with a lot the past 5 or so years was always comparing myself to other people and getting down on myself for not doing as well as other people and always feel like I am worse than people around me.  The reason this gets brought up now is that even though I have worked through it a few people I know are going through the same thing.  It’s a really difficult thing though, because I see what is happening to them, but there isn’t a lot you can really do.  I have been there, and it just takes a lot of work and a lot of support to get through it.  The first key is really getting told enough you are doing things right, and that you are just as good as others.  You needed really good support systems around you for this to happen though, and you need people who have an interest in seeing you succeed.

The other thing you need which is really just as important is that you need people around you who are also not going to take you down a peg for no reason.  You need those people out of your life, because you will always compare yourself to others if the people around you are doing the same always throwing it in your face.  I think it’s a delicate balance and it takes a lot of hard work to overcome, but it is something that is doable.  I look back at my time struggling with it big time and just kind of am sad now.  I realize how much I couldn’t do because I didn’t have the confidence to see the worth in myself.  Some of it was caused by things around me, and some of it came from my own inabilities to see my worth.  Overall, I wasted a lot of time though, and I don’t dislike people for putting me in the situation, because something I realize now is that things happen the way they do for a reason, and just take everything as a positive.  Make it work for you, not the other way around.  Also, be thankful for what you do have, because when you aren’t, you lose sight of what is important and how important you are too people.  That’s probably the biggest thing.  If you tell everyone that you suck, then the people who really do believe in you feel worse about themselves because it’s pretty clear you don’t value what they think.

That ended up being somewhat heavier than I wanted it to, but I hope that people I know who are struggling with it kind of think about it.  The one major work around that I found for myself was sitting up reachable and measurable goals and then when I managed to accomplish them I realized I was doing well enough for what I expected.  When you set up goals that you can actually reach and tell when you reach them you get more form them.  It’s something to say you want to be more social, but in reality that means nothing because it’s not really measurable.  If you make a goal for hanging out with people though, then you can see if you are making positive traction in that area.  Once you just start doing it you don’t have to continue with the goals because it just becomes natural, but it’s starting points to build habits.  I still use goals pretty heavily, because I know myself well enough to know I need them to really help me move through the week on a consistent pace.

I guess when I look at it I have struggled with a lot of the major insecurities that people have, I just have a different way of reacting to them, but I have dealt with insecurities with my: money, looks, weight, height, clothes, intelligence, you name it, I have had it really.    I like that I only have a few of them left, but I guess, I feel bad for everyone struggling with them because I don’ t have a lot of good advice on how to get rid of it.  I had good people around me and realized that I should care about other things.  It was hard though, and really I guess it helped me a lot in the long run, but I just wish I could put how I overcame things into a way that could help people more.  Everyone says I do a good job at helping, but I wish I had more positive results in terms of noticeable change.  Time it takes, I must remind myself.

Well, this ended up being much longer than I wanted it to be.  Have a good day everyone.

Thursday
Aug162012

Two Funny Dubs of "Call Me Maybe"

Thursday
Aug162012

Happy Blog

SO this will be a rather sort blog because it is later on a Thursday night and I have work and whatever tomorrow. I have been pretty enthralled with my new phone of late and really just trying to take it easy before getting back on track this weekend.  School starts in less than a week now and I am really getting into the final stages of what I want things to look like in a few weeks, months, and semesters’ times.  Not everything is as easy as I would like it, but overall, I see no way in which I can really complain.

I got the Galaxy SIII and I have to say that it is pretty awesome. I also got an old school Nintendo case for it so it really does look like I have one when it’s in my hand or I lay it on the desk.  I have heard it called the best phone ever made and while I do think it’s really good, I don’t know if I am willing to go that far.  The thing is, I don’t know how it could do to make me happy. I was happy with the investment and I think it was a better choice than an iPhone, which isn’t something I thought I would say 2 months ago.  The screen size really is awesome, and even though it’s significantly bigger than my iPod, I don’t notice it as much as I thought I would when it’s in my pocket.

I haven’t played too much poker in the past few days, but when I did play it was pretty profitable.  I have been studying a lot the past week, because I plan on playing a lot this weekend and I haven’t been concentrated enough to really play my A game, so since I played so much last weekend I figured I could take it easy on hands for a few days and just look at some mistakes I made and work form there.  While I am still down total $ wise, I am up after rakeback and I am getting a lot closer to overall up, so if I have a decent weekend I should be able to get even like I would rally like.  The weird thing is I am down in 5 of the stakes I have played but not down more than 15 big bets in any of them, so it’s not like I really have that far to go in everything.  (I am also up at 2/4, so that helps.)

The goals thing is really interesting now because I am really seeing how full my schedule is and I think I have something figured out, but you always worry you might be planning so much that you won’t actually achieve it.  See, one thing I really hate is that I might fail at something and feel like I let myself down.  I have been getting better about managing what I think I can, and honestly, I could not be happier with life than I am right now, so I am fine with trying to do too much.

That thought on life, I really mean that right now.  I have a job, am engaged, doing well in school, and have poker to keep my occupied.  I really do have nice things, and I couldn’t be happier with where life is headed.  Sure, it isn’t perfect, but life never is and I think waiting for it to be perfect is just going to cause you to want endlessly and never be satisfied. I am really just going to look at what I have and how things could have gone and thank God for everything ad how lucky I am.  Life is good, and I hope it continues this way.

I guess it wasn't as short as i thought it woudl be....

Sunday
Aug122012



Sunday
Aug122012

Deep blog

My mind is in a lot of different places right now, but I am not sure how much I really want to write, because it’s really not that interesting.  A few of the things are probably moderately interesting, but more of it is just random musings that manage to dominate my mind.  The really disappointing thing is that all the rain missed us, are well 97% of it at least.  Rain is normally a great help to my thinking, because it’s calming, but also I haven’t see a lot of it this year.  This summer has been so dry, but it looks like a lot of Iowa got a decent amount of rain, so at least it will help the farmers, they need it.

I suppose the first place where my mind is deals with how much I find really interesting, but how little I can actually learn.  It’s from lack of desire, or lack of intelligence, but more form lack of time and overall constraints of human capability.  I find theoretical physics really interesting, and I also find cosmology really interesting.  I realize they are related, but in reality they aren’t that close.  Learning about some of the stuff I was listening to though is really daunting, because I don’t understand math that well and I have no knowledge in these areas.  So while I would like to learn more, I don’t think it’s really plausible.  Further, you have to kind of decide what you will know a lot about, and for me other are other things that are just interesting so you kind of have to decide what you will pay the most attention to.

The other really interesting side bar on this thought is how much knowledge really helps someone.  You are told from a young age that you have to learn the basics of everything so that you can understand how the world really works, but in a lot of ways this seems to be almost counterproductive, because in science what you learn isn’t even really true.  Take Newton’s laws for instance.  They aren’t true in all cases, and we are told they basically are.  The reason we are told this is pretty understandable, because we won’t have the ability or knowledge to really learn the laws that things are governed by.  However, with that being said you run into the problem of us having a lot of people with incorrect knowledge trying to apply it to conversations we hear and new discoveries.    When people do this it will end in failure because they assumptions they are using are wrong.  So then the true question becomes what is the actual utility of learning all of these basic ideas? 

I think the answer is kind of tricky, because there isn’t actually a super good reason.  The main reason people will cite is; knowing something is better than knowing nothing.  This is particularly true when you consider the people who get paid the most are ones that are college educated. This of course has a really easy counter in that mostly what people are educated in is dealing with their major and that all of the other things are just kind of extra.   There are other arguments for and against it, but I don’t really want to get into them right now.  I think the best way to bridge this gap a little bit might be to change how you teach classes.  For general education classes perhaps having like 8 weeks of lecture/testing and then 8 weeks of independent study on a set list of topics would be really interesting.  So if you took that physics class you would learn basic stuff for 8 weeks and then the last 8 weeks you could start reading about dark matter.  This would work because to understand everything you are learning in the book you would need to learn other areas that support it.  So while you overall base might be less, you would understand something deeper and thus be able to understand deeper topics better.  You could do this with many other disciplines, and Political Science already does this to a large degree.

So yea that what some of my mind is thinking about.  Another thing is poker.  I had a pretty disappointing showing in the BQ Olympics.  Essentially it was a 5 tournament series that put 13 people against each other to see who was the best-rounded.  It’s obviously a small sample, but I didn’t play as well as I would have liked and am just sad I did that.  I got second in the PLO and 5th in the limit hold’em tournaments but they couldn’t really get anything together for the other events.  I had a really unfortunate hand happen in the HORSE tourney that pretty much took me out of the running for that one.  I wasn’t disappointed in how I played it, was just disappointed in the overall result.  I guess if I were giving a grade I would put myself at something like a C-, or maybe a C, but nothing higher than that.

Other than that display the day actually went pretty well with the rest of my grinding.  I played about 1.2k hands this weekend which puts me in good shape to meet my goal per week and meet my goal for the overall month.  I am hoping to get over the 5k per month that is required, but even if I don’t, I am still on good pace to be able to do that, even if I don’t have as much time later in the week.  So I guess is shouldn’t be that disappointed with the day, because I was actually up from the BQ Olympics and was up playing cash games, so I can’t complain too much, I would suppose.

My mind is still in a lot of other places, but I feel more tired than I do anxious about everything else so I guess I will just wait to talk about the rest.  It’s possible I will just put up an extra blog this week and ramble in it for a while, or I will just focus on something more productive and calm myself that way.  We will see what happens overall.  Time to get prepared for this last week before school starts.

Saturday
Aug112012

Brandon Climbing Mountain 

I have to post this, because Brandon climbed a mountian that actualyl appears in an atlas.  Pretty jealous of him here.  (Taken in Morocco)  

Saturday
Aug112012

New, and very good.

Saturday
Aug112012

Older, but still very good.