Recent Changes

Sunday
Aug052012

So many thoughts.....

I started to try to write this blog, but I was watching the fifth Star Wars movie and I just couldn’t get anything in my mind that made sense. I kept getting distracted by how Han Solo was Jack Sparrow before Jack Sparrow even existed. It’s kind of crazy to think about, but he really was.  I don’t know if he was the first one like that, but I like both of them for sure, and they both provide a little bit different personality.  I don’t know why I am rambling about this, but it is just something that struck me when I watched it tonight.

Anyway, I talked to Brandon this past weekend and that made me happy.  I guess it made me happy is how I should phrase it to be more precise.  Talking to him is always awesome, because he leads a very interesting life, but it also made me rather jealous.  Here is the thing about that though; I don’t want to be jealous.  I envy him for spending more time over in Morocco and just kind of going with what seems fun, because it’s something I don’t have a chance to do, but at the same time I love where I am at right now.  It’s one of those things; I just can’t really explain it, because it almost doesn’t make sense in a lot of ways. 

Really, the issue boils down to that I would love to move to China and teach English, because it would be amazing, and would really make me feel good about what I am doing in this world.  I also know Jess isn’t huge on the idea, and I love her more than I want to go to China, so it’s like I am jealous I can’t go, but not at the same time.  The reason I am not jealous is because it’s pretty easy to see which is a better choice, because either you be happy with a certain person for the rest of your life or you decide to chase your dreams that might not live up to your expectations and even if they do you are only doing it for a year or two really, because it’s not completely sustainable.  So really, there is no reason to feel jealous, but I still do.  It’s really rather aggravating.  It’s been driving me crazy for days now, well more crazy than I already am which is substantial.

Another thing that has been on my mind the past few days is this podcast I heard about this former journalist who is living his dream.  Essentially, there has been a few studies done that say if you spend 10,000 hours doing something you can become a near expert in that field.  The studies say that talent really doesn’t provide a ton, but instead directed practice does.  So this journalist decided to quit his job and try to become a golf pro.  He had never really played golf before and is 30 years old.  He is about 3,100 hours in and is making a lot of progress to the point that he is pretty decent, especially considering he started from literally scratch.

The reason that this has been on my mind is because I think it would be really awesome to do something like that. I have no idea why I think this, nor what I would even really chase like that, but it’s the appeal and allure of it that really gets me.  I have been accused of being a bit of a dreamer at some points in my life, but honestly, I think that doing something you love to become that good at it isn’t really bad.  Just to challenge yourself like that and to keep trying to improve yourself seems like this amazing opportunity and amazing feeling;  It’s something, that it just has my imagination clearly caught in it and I can’t seem to shake it.

I can’t decide if I am going to work tomorrow or not. I asked for the day off, but I might go anyway and just take my day off later. I just can’t decide because I don’t like being home right now because I keep driving myself crazy with all my thoughts and stuff like that, but at the same time I don’t like work an immense amount either, because my co-workers are not awesome.  It’s basically I have no real good choice in the matter, so I guess I will just wake up tomorrow and see how I feel overall. Then decide if I want to go suffer at work or home.  Okay, that was way too dramatic, but I will be thinking a lot either way and it will drive me insane.  I just don’t like either a lot right now.

All right, that’s enough for now. Hopefully next time I will have some cool stories, but we will see if a few things come together over the next few days.

Saturday
Aug042012

Everyone should watch this YouTube series. This is the first episode. 

 

Thursday
Aug022012

Thursday
Aug022012

Thursday
Aug022012

So I am having one of those conversations with myself where I try to tell myself that I shouldn’t be trying to do as much as I am.  The thing that sucks the most is that I don’t listen to myself really well, and I know how to beat myself in an argument every time.  So it’s pretty easy to see what my dilemma is… it’s rather annoying that I can defeat myself in an argument every time.  Of course, if I couldn’t that would be kind of weird as well, so really, I guess it’s kind of just a circle that will never be truly ended.  The reason I am having this exercise though is because I have so many goals, but only so many hours.

I think I am getting close to getting a full list of goals done, but I am not sure at the same time, because I still have a lot I want to do.  I think the major problem is that I just don’t gain happiness in some of the things I should, like school.  Talking to Janelle tonight I realized that I am so done with school, but I am not really at the same time.  I want to be done, but I still have 3 more semesters to go.  Granted one of them is a summer session, but that is still serious.  So since I take no happiness from school I have to fill that void with different things, and really that starts to cause a problem when school and work take such a large part of my time.  I guess we all have to decide what is going to be most important to us… it just sucks I have to do it. I will stop complaining.

Also during my conversation with Janelle tonight I realized I have so little attachment to sentimental things, it’s probably a little bit bad.  I have some attachment of course, but it’s rather small and I think a lot of people would find it weird that it’s so little.  I think a lot of this comes from my need to have actions mirror meaning.  I don’t like weddings because I think they are so commercialized and really don’t mean much anymore.  I also don’t like Christmas for the same reason.  I think there is far too much placed on what you get, and who you get it from.  I understand some people have a sentimental attachment to that stuff, but you just can’t include me on that list.  I am curious how bad of a person it makes me to only be intrigued by my actual wedding and not actually thrilled about it.  I want to be married to Jess badly, but I just want the ceremony and stuff to be over with and I want to be on having a really nice time with her.  That’s paramount in my mind, not the actual ceremony.  I suppose there is no way around those feelings though, it’s just kind of who I am.

I got these gummy bears that are sugar free and they are freaking awesome.  They actually might taste better than the real ones I normally get.  This is a very good development to me, because the real ones kill my stomach.  I like it when I can actually find things that are good that are sugar free.  It’s basically these bears and like popsicles that I can eat that are sugar free, most everything else I don’t like.  This reminds me, I’m trying to start a Popsicle stick pile under my deck like my grandpa had. I don’t think I will quite get there, but it’s still pretty cool.  I know I am really young and awesome like that.

I only have 1 day off this weekend, but I guess I get to take another day at some point.  That’s pretty cool, but will suck when I am at work at 7am on Sunday and probably that Monday as well, because I will be super tired.  I am just going to keep telling myself the money is really good and that’s all that matters. Not sure how much I believe that all that time, but I will keep telling myself that.

I wrote an article about racism in the Olympics, you guys should check that out under the “sports” section.  Going to tinker with my site some more.  Have a good day.

Thursday
Aug022012

There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere.

Issac Asimov (via genannetics)


Monday
Jul302012

I'm engaged, say WHAT?!?!

This past weekend was pretty interesting on a lot of fronts.  I suppose I will just get the good news out of the way; I am now engaged and will most likely be getting married in May sometime.  What makes that even better is that Jessica’s parents are okay with it, which is something I didn’t expect, nor did she really.  I am really happy that everything worked out, and that I get to be with her forever.  It really is just the starting of a new chapter in my life and I am really excited to see where it takes us, and where things will end up in the coming years.  We are going to wait to officially announce things for a few weeks, because of some timing stuff, don’t ask me, because I don’t understand them all that well.

It feels wrong to really talk about anything else in the his blog, because that should be the only news I really have, or at least the only one that matters, but honestly if you know me at all you know how important Jessica is to me and it shouldn’t really be a surprise that we are going to get married.  Right now she decided to take a nap on my couch, and I am watching Women’s Handball. I love the Olympics, because I actually get to see weird sports that are awesome.  At the time of writing this South Korea is leading Denmark 5-2. I had best get past this paragraph because South Korea keeps adding more goals, and I don’t want to have to update it.

This will most likely be my last post on Tumblr. I have a few more things to do on my website, but it’s basically fully functional and pretty cool. I mean, there are still some things I need to change for sure and to work with, but it’s pretty close to being optimal for what I need it to be.  I need to write a few more blurbs and things to fill it out some so it doesn’t look super bare, but honestly, it’s more cosmetic and small than anything else.  I was super happy with how it turned out, and I hope everyone will like it as much as I do.  Once I get that up I will basically have everything I need to start building my marketing portfolio.  I’m really happy about that, because I think it will be helpful for when I go to get a job.

Something I realized today is that no matter what my stomach is never going to be happy.  There is always going to be part of it that just doesn’t like anything and will always be grumpy and nothing is more depressing than that, because really it sucks a lot.  Right now it hurts like none other and I am almost ready to just say screw it and just let it be unhappy and get some pizza. I really want some; because I am craving it, but I know it’s not the best idea…. Or so I am told.

I am not sure who I can really root for in the Olympics.  I want Ryan Lotche to win everything that he can, because he really is freaking awesome and he really gives me a lot of inspiration, but past at I don’t really know how to compete with. See the thing is, I don’t really feel a close kinship to the US and I just really want to root for China, or South Korea, which I have to imagine isn’t great.  Either way I am just going to keep watching things for a long time, like swimming which I am watching right now. I am just watching some random heats right now.  I wish I knew how to swim competently still, but alas, I do find it interesting.

I also find it interesting that Hong Kong and Taipei compete as their own countries.  I didn’t think that would be so, but it’s cool that they do.  Especially Hong Kong.

Tuesday
Jul172012

Rushed Blog

This is going to be my first post on both Tumblr and my new website.  Eventually when I have the site up to the standards that I want I will just move everything over there and put a link on here to it.  That’s going to take some time and effort though, because there is a lot of things you can to do customize the website.  Currently I am playing around with the different choices that I have and trying to figure out what is going to work best for me overall.  I will say that the software I amusing for it thoughis amazing and I will support that site whenever everyone finaly is able to see the final product.

So my list of things I have to do today is something like 25 items long.  I think that’s kind of a lot as far as expectations go, but I kind of hope it’s going to be possible to get everything done.  I am not sure that there are enough hours in the day though, like literally I think there is lack of hours in the day when it comes to get things done.  The week was kind of slow because of Jess and everything with her MCAT, and I wasn’t able to put as much time into stuff as I really wanted to. I then also wasted some time on Friday night just kind of decompressing.  SO now, I am here on Sunday and have to really kick it it into high gear to get everything done.  Let’s hope that can happen.

The last few horus haven’t een without some excitement though as I have been getting pretty well flamed on the forums for defending someone and calling out another.  Essentially this guy named Jarrett Nash skipped day 5 of the WSOP ($8.5 million to first, he was in like 200th place with 400 left out of the 6500+ who started) because of religious reason.  I really respected what he did and I think others should as well. I think mocking him is completely uncalled for, but it seems very few people actually agree with me. I think overall it might be the topic of my next article, because it really has killed polite and informative discourse, but that is another topic.  Anyway, so I have been defending this guy and pretty much just been getting crushed by all sorts of people. I am fine with it though, really.

Other than that, I’ve just been trying to get things done.  Found a few cool programs that I wanted to try to make my life easier and more efficient.  Also, I finally got an anti-virus and malware program for my computer.  Luckily I didn’t have any infections, and only way piece of possible spyware, but that was questionable even.  I am also thinking of using a program that makes all of my passwords secure and hidden, but I haven’t decided if I want to do that yet.  The reason I might want to do this is because I have some money in different places and hope to get more online and want to take good care of it. I guess I am just kind of freaked out by all the stories of people getting hacked and everything.  For a lot of people I think it’s a sort of small issue, but any time you have access to enough money that if someone did hack you it could cause some issues then you need to consider being safer.   Also, I have connections that could be hurt if someone hacked into the wrong thing; so really, I just want to be safe.

Okay, well I am off for the day, and going to try to get things done.  I have a really big week coming up.  Hopefully I will be able to explain everything in a little bit, and we will see what happens from there.

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