Recent Changes

Tuesday
Jun202017

I'm a rational man

Tuesday
Jun202017

I'm finally acting like an adult, or something.

So over the past couple of weeks i have been doing a ton of thinking and this past weekend in Chicago cemeneted a few things in my mind that i had already pretty much accepted.  Here are a few of the things that I have decided needs to be said and put out there.  It's a pretty siesmic shift in some ways from my previous thinking, but at the same time it just takes some ideas that I have had for a long time and better puts them into something that makes sense.

A) I'm good at writing, but I don't want to do it for a long-term living. I don't mind it as a side thing or temporary thing until the loan forgiveness is over, but it's not a long-term love. Unless I'm writing novels.

I will admit that I have a talent for writing.  I could refine it and make it significantly more impressive, but even without doing that I still have some talent for it.  I don’t like writing articles and stuff though as often as I would need to make it a career.  It’s a fun thing I like to do, but the writing short articles for the sake of writing articles gives me no pleasure.  Just pumping out things to get it out there is not fun.  What makes it even less inviting is how things in that sphere are going in terms of interaction with the audience.  No matter who you write for, or what you write about you are getting more and more pushback from all side about how biased you are, or how stupid you are or whatever else someone can find to complain about.  It’s not enjoyable.

Novels are something I still have a major interest in writing, but that’s not going to be a full-time job.  OS it’s something I can continue doing while also doing other things, which I will get more to in a while.  I am still going to write my self-improvement articles, because I feel like those are fun and can at least help someone.  I will be writing other things too, just because I want to keep getting better.  It’s not going to be like it was earlier though, because my happiness is worth more. 

B) I don't like writing about politics.

I don’t like writing about politics.  I know politics.  I understand how they impact everything and that I should care, but fact is, I hate doing it.  The discourse around politics now is so disheartening that I just can’t deal with it.  If you are centrist, you get even more crap from both sides.  I don’t mind getting constructive criticism, but that is completely out the window. The less I read politics, the happier of a person I am.  So, I am just going to stop and not read about it.  I’m not going to be sad that I know less than most people.  It’s not like what most people know is all that correct or important anyway.

C) I'm going to end up a teacher or Network Admin/tech support.

I’ve realized that working online is just not going to be something I end up doing, at least not in a non-traditional sense.  I could end up at one of these jobs in an online capacity, but I am not going to be some work from home wizard that makes a ton of money hawking online ad things, or something who cobbles together a living room a whole bunch of different sources in some delicate balance.  Teaching online is something that very realistically could happen tough.  As could being a network admin from a remote location.  I’m just not interested in working that hard to drum up business.  I’ve been doing a ton of research into things, and the amount of work people must put in from working from home in a non-traditional capacity is so freaking much.  Good for them, but it’s just not for me.  I want someone who oversees paying me and giving me projects that I work on, not to be someone who must chase down leads in a fruitless hope of securing a job.

The two jobs I listed are going to require going back to school, but I am fine with that.  Both are going to be about 2 year things I would have to do to get a degree in and then I could decide what to do from there.  The only thing that is making me wonder about doing network administration stuff is the pay scale.  Even starting out I make more than I would as a teacher on the top end.  I would have less time off, because of not as many holidays, less vacation and stuff like that, but getting paid 2 or 3 times as much would also allow me to get as much money as fast as I can to make a lot of things in the future a possibility.  Not that I think that is the most important, but it’s something I should consider.  I will know by October 5th which one I would like to pursue the most.  It’s going to be one of my major goals.

D) I'm giving myself until October 5th to do some not typical as a means for money. If it doesn't work then I will do normal thing to make my 15k a year.

Making 15k a year from online means should be something I could end up doing, but I am only giving myself until October 5th to do it.  That gives me about 90 days from when I get back from North Dakota to really hammer everything down and get a better idea.  I’m going to really focus on making money, figuring out what direction my life should go and putting myself in a position to be successful in the future.  If I’m going to not have to work in a call center to pay for college over the next two years, I have until October 5th to make that a reality.  Otherwise, off to the call center it is to make my 15k a year, which will then go into paying for my schooling. 

E) I want to live on another city eventually.

Going to Chicago this weekend really impressed upon me how much I want to live in another city.  I want to live somewhere that is really cool and different.  Downtown Chicago would be a dream, but is probably a bit too expensive to be realistic.  It’s possible though.  Austin is another place I would strongly consider.  There might be some other cities, and I want to spend the next couple of vacations trying out new cities to see which ones really fit what I like and which ones are just not going to be realistic to move to.  Kansas City is a great city and all, but I don’t want to spend forever in one place, likely not even in two or three more places.  I want to move and experience new things.

F) I need to pet bunny more.

I need to pet the bunny more.  I have been really bad about creating dumb reasons to not pay as much attention as I need to.  It’s not fair to him, but I find myself doing it at an alarmingly stupid rate.  So, it’s going to be something that I make sure I get a lot better at over the next few months, because he deserves to get more attention.  He’s been acting too sad lately, and I know some of that is not petting him enough.  Some of it might also be that he might need a friend, but that is something Jess and I will have to tackle at some point in the future.

G) I want to make enough money we could retire early if we want to make that a priority. 

I’ve been spending so much time reading about early retirement, saving money, minimalism and the like that I realize how important it is for me to at least have it be an option if Jess and I chose to make it something we care about.  What is more likely is that we travel even more than we do now and see a lot of new things.  I want whatever we decide our priorities to be for those to be options though.  That’s why I realized that this will end with me likely being a teacher or working as a network administrator.  I’m just going to need to do that to make sure that we can have the life we want to have.  It’s a dream of mine, but it’s a dream I think is easily attainable.  If I find a job that I get $40,000 a year or up to $60,000 that puts us well over $100,000 combined and we don’t plan on having kids, so that’s more than enough for two people to live from.  Combine this with me having zero student loans and it really makes things a lot easier.  I think we can do whatever we want, within reason, if I point my mind in a different direction, which I am ready to do.

Sunday
Jun112017

Not writing lately, because I have been working hard.

For once I haven’t been writing, because I have been doing pretty well with all my goals and haven’t really had the time to write, or at least haven’t made the time to do it.  That’s a pretty stark change from where I am most of the time when it comes to not writing.  I’m also kind of close to actually getting a sleeping schedule as well, which is pretty cool.  It still isn’t perfect, but I am doing loads better than I was even a week ago.

I started doing the Insanity workout and that has been kicking my butt lately.  I did it with Quinn on Saturday and decided that I was just going to start doing it, because why not?  It’s going to get me in great shape, especially with my cardio.  It’s not as much strength building as I would like, but it should help me feel stronger overall and hopefully increase my endurance.  I’ve kind of accepted that gaining muscle mass is not something I will really be able to do anyway.  SO just fully committing to a hardcore cardio with a slight bit of strength routine isn’t a bad idea.

I am also combining with taking cold showers after I get done.  I’m hoping that doing both of these things will really increase my discipline, and I can say that it has been helping some.  It’s still fairly new, as I only have been doing both for four days so far.  I have noticed my mind in a better place, and while I have had the desire to skip one of the days of either, I have managed to keep it going.  Tomorrow is going to be a huge test, because it is Pure Cardio and it will probably be pure hell.  The thought of not having a warm shower afterwards makes me sad, but the benefits are worth it.

I’ve also been walking in the morning and sitting out in the sun for 15-20 minutes during the afternoon in between sessions of doing other work.  It’s been really good to get outside and really do everything I can to feel better and improve my life.  I’m in a good spot right now.  I’m doing what I want to be doing and doing what I need to be doing to help myself make strides on my goals and dreams.

We head to Chicago in a few days and will get back next Monday.  That Tuesday onward is going to be a huge test for how far I have come.  In the past a trip like this upcoming one would throw me off for a few days, minimum, but I’m hoping that I can get right back to what I need to on Tuesday.  I’m hoping to mitigate some of my problems getting back into the routine by doing my workouts while also in Chicago.  Also, Tuesdays are my rest day from insanity, so that should help a little bit as well.

We are going to North Dakota at the beginning of July and then my mother is coming to visit right after that.  After that we don’t have anything planned, and judging by our finances, using that time to save money and really focus on my goals and making money is going to be important and easily done.  Jess has to work Labor Day, so we also won’t be heading back to Burlington any time after that either.  Three solid months of no interruptions is going to be huge for me.    By the end of September, I should know pretty well if I am going to be looking for another job at a call center, or can do something with writing, poker, teaching or whatever I am really working towards. 

If September 30th rolls around and I am not making any significant money from things, then I am going to be looking for a job.  It will have to be somewhat temporary, because I can only make a certain amount each year, but I should be able to keep a job from when I get one at the end of this year until about June of next year.  We will see what that leaves open for me and what I end up deciding to do with that.  It will be a very important few months, because I will either be chasing my dreams or right back at a call center for 8-10 months.

It’s only been 7 months since I have started the loan forgiveness and I haven’t felt great during the whole thing.  I’ve made a lot of progress since moving, but I am still not even close to what I would ideally like to be at.  I don’t feel like I know any more about what I want to do with my life.  I don’t feel like things are in a better place than they would be if I was just allowed to keep working normally.  Maybe they are.  Maybe I would be in an even worse place mentally if I was working at a call center of some kind.  The first 4 to 5 months though of the loan forgiveness were really, really tough.  It’s taken some time to get past that.

I think the hardest thing is seeing all my friends and wife doing what they want and being really good at it.  I am friends with very motivated and dedicated people.  They have goals and then they crush them, especially when it comes to being productive members of society.  They know what they want and go get it.  I know a lot of people in this world are not like that.  Many are stuck with jobs they hate, but my friends are not in that group.  So, it’s tough to be where I am sometimes, because I look at those around me, those I would like to be more like, and I am just floating along.

I’ve always done that though.  I love surrounding myself with highly functioning and highly achieving people.  In school, I hung around the honors students even though I was in average classes.  In college, I didn’t talk to many people, but those I did were doing a ton outside of also doing well at school.  Now that I am an adult I have friends who are all doing what they love and doing it well.  It’s a double-edged sword, because it can motivate you to do better, but it can also crush you when you are lost at sea.  It’s hard.

I think that is it for now.  Tomorrow is going to be a good day, and I need to get to sleep to make sure I can make the most out of it.

Monday
Jun052017

Traveling and learning

Been at Quinn’s house for the past few days now.  Jess and I drove up on Friday and we are leaving some time today.  It’s been a nice trip though.  I hadn’t seen him in like 10 years and I was a bit worried that things might be a bit awkward, especially since he has a girlfriend and a 4-year-old kid.  They weren’t though and I think everyone meshed really well, which is much better than I could have predicted. 

Not being able to sleep really sucks though, because I have gotten 5 or less hours of not great sleep each night.  Not only is the air mattress not all that comfortable, but also 4-year olds can be rather loud, especially when they don’t have a way to entertain themselves…. That they think is good enough.  I mean, I think that this particular child would be loud no matter what, but that’s beside the point.  Surprisingly, things have actually been okay tough with that little sleep.  Glad that my body and mind can still do pretty well with that amount of sleep.

This has cemented in my mind that I don’t want kids.  Their kid is more than fine.  I think she is probably like a pretty average child, but I just don’t want to deal with it day in and day out.  I want to be able to escape if I want to or not have to deal with their moods.  When they are this young too, reasoning with them is really hard and that just makes everything even harder.  Good on those who have kids and do a good job raising them, but that’s just not me, and I know for sure I don’t want that to be me.

Being here has been a bit of a blast from the past.  Quinn has obviously changed in the past decade, but also there is much of him that is the same.  Same humor type, some of the same small personality quirks and just a few other things that reminds me of what I was like 10-12 years ago.  I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, but more just a fact.  It’s nice though, because it has reminded me of a time that I was much less stressed and kind of just enjoyed things more.  I’m not sure how to recreate that in my life overall, but I really need to try some different things to see what I can find.

I need to earn some more two players card games as well, because I really like playing card games.  We have been playing a ton of different card games, board games and video games the entire time, and I would have to say the card games are my favorite.  Not just normal playing card games, but also some other specialized deck games as well.  There is something about the logic behind how card games normally work that makes the most sense in my head.  There is just something about how they work that I really like and connect with.

This stop is just the beginning of our really busy month.  We are going to be traveling or having visitors for 18 days between now and July 9th.  That’s just an impressive amount of things to do.  I don’t think Jess and I have been this busy with so many outside things ever.  There is something about traveling and visitors that definitely more tiring than work.  More rewarding many of the time, but they are still tiring.

I think that is going to be all for now.  I have been writing this while waiting for people to wake up.  I hope that people will be waking up soon and I don’t want to get distracted from this post.

Sunday
May282017

It was a good flow day

Despite not sleeping well last night and getting up early, today was a really focused and good day.  I could have done better, we always can, but I was happy with my 6 hours of writing that I got done today.  It was by far the most productive writing day that I have had in a long time, and it was mostly on articles and other writing projects that will actually be useful for me.  I did do 30 minutes of creative writing, but it was less than spectacular, so I just decided to stop and move on from that.  No sense trying to force it out, when the rest is going well.

I’m not sure how much longer I am going to keep writing political things.  I’m not enjoying them as much as I am a few other things I am working on.  On Wednesday, I have a post I am really excited for about self-improvement.  That’s one of the things I am most looking forward to posting.  It still has some revisions to go through, but I think it’s going to be helpful to some people, or at least I hope.  I feel like I have a little bit of different things to say than other people on self-improvement.  Hopefully someone appreciates that little bit different.

I think why I am so excited about it is because that I feel like I am adding to the world, and not taking away from it.  It feels like with my political writing I am taking too much away from the world and just putting more negativity in it.  I’m not sure that’s an accurate statement at all, but it’s a feeling I can’t shake.  I think for now I will keep writing it, because I feel like it’s helping me become a better writer overall, it’s just taking its toll on my mentally.  I also think that reading the news, especially right now, is less than great.  If the self-improvement post really takes off, then I might consider more heavily writing those.

I made a new schedule for myself were I am focusing a lot more each day on a certain task.  I am writing more hours in a day, instead of trying to write a little bit each day.  I find this pretty helpful, because I feel like I get into the writing mindset a lot easier and just kind of stick there.  I was having issues with getting into writing, and then needing to quit write when I was really getting things going.  I am hoping that I can keep this kind of speed up, but we will see.  Tomorrow is going to be another writing day.  So, it’s going to be a test to see if I can be writing 12+ hours in two days.  This might not sound like a lot, but it’s hard to keep concentrated for that long.

I think that’s going to be it for now.  No other thoughts really on my mind, and I am tired.  I think that I will write more in here tomorrow though, because I had some stuff on my mind earlier today, but we will see if it just passes.

Wednesday
May242017

Struggling to write anything creative...

I’ve been doing really well on the writing front.  I’ve not suffered from any long bouts of writer’s block and I feel like my writing is getting better with each passing article.  That being said, I am finding it hard to write this blog, because the change in styles is so different that I can’t really think about the best way to write thing.  I’ve noticed this problem when I try to work on that book I keep trying to finish.  What I have been writing lacks creative in a sense, and now that I try to incorporate it again to my writing I struggle.

I think as I get better at writing and can shift easier it will be better, but right now, I don’t think I have that kind of talent built up.  I wonder if other people struggle with the same problems when they try to write creatively, but have a job where they need to either write about facts or technical things.  It’s such a hard thing to just make my mind let goo and really flow.  I think what I need to do is set up better times where I am just thinking about my political writing and times where I am just thinking creatively.  Have them be even more separate.

The good thing about having this problem is that it means I have gotten a lot done lately.  I’ve been writing a lot, as evidenced by all the posts, but I have also been playing poker, listening to podcasts, reading, cleaning and doing a bit more.  I’m basically doing everything I want to be doing, except for working out.  I’m not sure why I haven’t started doing that yet, but I just haven’t felt the desire to really pick up the weights and getting on that.  It’s a pretty bad excuse, but I just haven’t been able to make myself do it.

I’ve been trying to write this for far too long now. I just can’t get my mind in that place where I need it to be to write this successfully.  I will give it another try in a few days.  Tomorrow I am taking an off day, and maybe that will allow me to flow creatively a bit better.  Than hitting the grind really hard from Thursday – Wednesday next week, since we are going up to Cedar Rapids next weekend and I want to make sure everything is squared away before that.

Wednesday
May242017

Listened to this a lot in the past few days.

Sunday
May212017

Surprise visits might be less productive, but can be very useful

Sorry about the lack of writing over the past two days.  Brandon ended up coming and visiting and I wasn’t expecting it, really.  He texted on Tuesday night and asked if he could come down and visit on Thursday. I was of course more than happy to have him over, but I didn’t get anything written, because I didn’t have anything stored up to post and I didn’t have time to really write anything.  It’s okay though, because I have a lot of good ideas for topics over the next couple of days.

I need to get a couple of posts saved up that I can post when I don’t have time to write.  There are definitely some things I can write that don’t need to be posted right away, or are pretty much timeless.  This buffer would be nice for days where things are just kind of crazy and I don’t have the time to spend on things like I may want.  I think ideally, I would like to have 4-5 articles on me at all times as a buffer.  Since I am traveling in two weeks, they would be really useful, now that I think about it.

Brandon coming down was pretty nice.  It was nice to get to talk to someone about interesting things for once.  I have people I talk to, but the topics that I normally get to discuss are a bit constrained.  Getting to bounce ideas off someone in pretty much any subject is really nice.  I hope that he felt the same way.  The nice thing for me is it really makes me think of more answers and reasons I am doing things.  It makes me question myself a little bit more than normal. 

I want to get to work simplifying my life in terms of possessions.  I think the word everyone thinks about when they hear that is minimalism, but I don’t like that word very much.  I’m not going to completely minimize everything, but I do want to simplify things.  I just want to have less possessions overall, because I can tell that things have really been making me feel more uncomfortable lately.  I like the open spaces, and I want to make sure I can enjoy that.  The best way is going to be for me to get rid of some things.

I want to simplify a few of the areas of my life as well though.  I’d like to simplify my computer setup.  I’d like to simplify my computer itself.  I want to have less programs installed on it and just make it easier to do things, at least from a distraction standpoint.  I want to be able to look at my computer a lot easier and just see what I should be doing, or shouldn’t be doing.  In some ways, I know it sounds weak to want to simplify everything, but I think that efficiency is worth more than any artificial feeling of weakens.

While writing that last statement I actually deleted about 60% of the icons off my desktop and a few from my task bar that had just been hanging out there for way too long.  That’ the kind of thing that I just kept putting off and not doing.  It sounds small, but it’s nice to just see a cleaner and less intimidating desktop situation.  I don’t know if it’s going to help me do anything smarter or better, but at least I am giving myself a chance.

I want tomorrow to be a really good day.  I really want to get a lot done.  I’ve been better lately, but I still end up wasting way too much time.  My time on my phone has ballooned up to a point that I really don’t feel comfortable with.  I want to knock that down by a pretty significant amount.  I want to get back down to my 7 hours or less a week on the phone.  I also want to get back to not wasting as much time on my computer by going to worthless sites for no reason.  I need to be more focused with what I am doing.  Fun is great, but need to make sure it’s more focused fun.

I think that is something that I have been doing wrong.  I’ve said it time and time again, but I keep falling into the trap of not being purposeful with my fun and then I end up feeling like I have way less fun.  I need to focus on fun for like 1-2 hours a day and just not waste time on things like Facebook, because I just feel like sipping fun.  It’s not an all or nothing thing, but it’s a matter of efficiency and effectiveness.  Sometimes I am really good at this…. And sometimes I fail big time.

Another thing that I keep telling myself to do, but don’t is get involved in the Discord chat that I have available to me for poker study.  It’s a good group with smart people in it.  I keep telling myself to start checking it more, and then I just don’t.  I create excuses or just don’t do it.  I need to stop doing that though and actually put my mind in the right place.  I finally logged into it again tonight and I have it open on my task bar.  I’m hoping that will change my mindset a little bit.

I think tomorrow is going to be writing in the morning/early afternoon, then some poker and then finish off the day with some cleaning.  Not sure what I am going to do at night, but if I get those three things done, then it will be a pretty successful day.  I will be happy with any result that includes getting those things done.  I have 12 days until I go visit Quinn for a few days.  I need to make sure I make those days count.

Tuesday
May162017

Projects on Projects

I only managed to get one article up over the past two days, because I was working on another project.  I have taken to recording and editing a podcast for the baseball league that I am in.  This episode happened to be really long and a bit trickier to edit than previous episodes.  The interview we had needed more heavily edited than past one.  Also, the audio levels were a bit out of whack, so it was a bit of a challenge to make sure that everything sounded good in the end.  Overall, I don’t think I am thrilled with it, but we will see how it turns out when people actually listen to it.  Either way, that took about 6-8 hours to actually edit and get posted.  Way too much time doing that, and not nearly enough time doing other things.

The other thing that caused issues today was that our little rodent decided that eating through my internet cable was a fantastic idea and that I didn’t need internet on my computer.  I was more than a bit annoyed.  I decided that I need to go wireless and avoid this issue from happening again.  This is the 4th or 5th cable he has eaten through, and I just don’t want to keep replacing them every time he decides he gets hungry.  It’s really not worth the time and effort to keep doing it.

The wireless adapter I picked up at Best Buy would not work well for the first 1-2 hours I was playing around with it.  Once I gave up on trying to trouble shoot it and just decided that I was going to buy a new one, it decides that it wants to work.  I have no idea why, but I guess I am not going to complain.  I’m keeping a close eye on the speeds that it says I have and will be making sure that things remain satisfactory.  Hopefully it stays working though and I have figured out a good enough solution for now.  My other options are much more expensive and not something I am wanting to do all that badly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that I need to have happen on a daily basis to make me happy.  I’m not really ready to share that list yet, but I have found a couple of really interesting things while doing my research and thinking about it.  In some ways, what makes me happiest and unhappiest are almost the same thing.  What I would think wouldn’t really matter to me, actually matter more than I would guess that they do.  It’s a really odd feeling overall, but I guess that’s just kind of how things are.  We rarely notice what the small things in our life are until we are forced to really look at it.

I love having chairs out on my deck.  I’ve spent a little bit of time each day out there, either just enjoying the weather or listening to a podcast while I take a break from writing or editing the podcast.  It’s been really nice to have that place to escape to that is so different from the house, yet is so easy to get to.  I think that it would likely rank second on the list of things I enjoy most about the new place we live.  The ability to just escape the house so easily is amazing.  Sometimes I just don’t feel like walking around, and now I have an option to get that fresh air, but not always be walking somewhere.

Tomorrow I really want to get a lot of things done.  Now that I have that podcast done and out of the way, I really want to get going on a few other things.  I want to get two articles written, I want to get some poker played and I want to go for a walk.  It’s a pretty tall order of things that need to be done, but I think I should be able to get it done.  I think I also have to go shopping at some point with Jess.  The shopping thing I am trying not to think about too much, because I really don’t enjoy it, but got to get things done that need to be done.

I think that’s going to be it for now.  I feel rather tired.  So, time to get off to bed and then start the day off right tomorrow. 

Friday
May122017

The years slowly tick by..... tick tick tick...

I had another birthday today and I am not sure how I feel about it.  I’m sad that it seems like my life hasn’t went very far in the past year.  I feel like I am spinning my wheels, but I also feel okay, because since moving I have done a lot to improve how I am functioning in life.  It’s obviously a short amount of time, but I just feel so much better since moving.  So, my life hasn’t moved very far in a year, but I finally feel like I am putting the things together.  What’s even better is I am in a place that I can keep that going.

I didn’t think I had much to spend my birth money on this year, but I found a few things.  I bought some chairs and a table for out on our deck.  The deck is small, but it’s nice to have a tiny little table and two chairs.  I don’t care that it’s cramped out there, because at least now I can sit in peace.  Tonight, was a great night to sit out there too, because it’s cool, but not cold.  The bugs weren’t really out and I could just enjoy it.  We live in the middle of the city though, so seeing stars or anything is really out of the question.

The other two things I spent my birthday money on were some makeup for Jess.  She broke something a few days ago and it made her sad.  So, I just decided it was best to get her a replacement for whatever it was.  The thing just dropped out of her bag of makeup.  It shouldn’t have broken, but bounced off our carpet onto the hard bathroom floor.  Such is life.  I don’t mind spending my money on that, because it made her happy and it had made her sad to break it on accident.  She had got it as a gift at some point, and when we went to see if she wanted another one they only had one left and the guy employee seemed to think it was something good.  I haven’t a clue what it was.  Something about a highlighter or something.  The box was shiny, so at least that was amusing.

The third thing was a donation to a bunny rescue.  I saw a really sad post on Instagram about bunnies who had testing done on them by cosmetic companies and everything.  I couldn’t not donate to it, because it was so sad.  I can’t foster a bunny or anything, but I was more than happy to donate to them and hopefully help a bunny have a better life.  It wasn’t a huge donation, so not sure how much it really helps, but I imagine it’s one of those things that any amount helps.  I know it’s enough that it could at least pay for food for him or her for quite a while.  That’s what really matters.

I think it’s one of the first time I have done something really good with my birthday money.  I like that more of it went to things for other people than things for just myself.  None of it went to just my pure enjoyment.  Even the chairs and table others will be able to enjoy.  I like that feeling, because it means I am making some kind of difference in the world.  Of course, I only write about it on here and won’t tell anyone else, because that’s just kind of annoying.  I hate when people do that.  Here though, I can just write my random thoughts.

As for what we did today, we ate a big lunch/breakfast, went for a walk, got some candy at a candy shop, played some games, went on another walk around our new house and then ate cake.  It was pretty low key, but that was kind of nice.  It’s the first birthday I have even got to celebrate on my birthday in some time.  Jess is normally too busy for us to make it work.  Finals has a nasty habit of falling on my birthday.  No finals this year though, so things worked out a lot better.

I’m not sure what the next year is going to bring.  I am not even sure what I want it to bring.  I have some goals in my mind, but I want to see how the next few weeks go before I verbalize them, because they may be completely pointless by the time that rolls around.  I want to keep getting better like things have been for a few days now, but I don’t want to get to far ahead of myself.  I want to keep my expectations within reason, because thinking too much and too far is what has gotten me into this mess.

One thing that definitely needs to happen is I need to be working out more.  I was getting decent at it before we moved, but fell off the wagon again, because it just didn’t fit in to my schedule while moving.  I was also pretty sick for a week or so.  Now that I am better and we have moved, I think that I should start getting back into that.  Lately I have seen pictures of a lot of my friends roughly my age or a bit younger…. And it’s shocking how many of them have really gained weight.  It was kind of a huge wake up call.  I need to be careful, because I don’t want to be there.  Granted, I am nowhere near gaining weight right now, but got to make sure it’s not really a worry.

I think that is going to be it for now.  I’m pretty tired and want to get some sleep.  Got a busy morning planned with farmer’s market, recording a podcast and then the likely editing of said podcast that will take some time.  Just keep on getting more skills, that’s what is important.  I will also get some writing done as well, because I’ve been pretty good about that lately anyway, so no reason to fall off that wagon, especially since I even got something out on my birthday.