Recent Changes


Surprise visits might be less productive, but can be very useful

Sorry about the lack of writing over the past two days.  Brandon ended up coming and visiting and I wasn’t expecting it, really.  He texted on Tuesday night and asked if he could come down and visit on Thursday. I was of course more than happy to have him over, but I didn’t get anything written, because I didn’t have anything stored up to post and I didn’t have time to really write anything.  It’s okay though, because I have a lot of good ideas for topics over the next couple of days.

I need to get a couple of posts saved up that I can post when I don’t have time to write.  There are definitely some things I can write that don’t need to be posted right away, or are pretty much timeless.  This buffer would be nice for days where things are just kind of crazy and I don’t have the time to spend on things like I may want.  I think ideally, I would like to have 4-5 articles on me at all times as a buffer.  Since I am traveling in two weeks, they would be really useful, now that I think about it.

Brandon coming down was pretty nice.  It was nice to get to talk to someone about interesting things for once.  I have people I talk to, but the topics that I normally get to discuss are a bit constrained.  Getting to bounce ideas off someone in pretty much any subject is really nice.  I hope that he felt the same way.  The nice thing for me is it really makes me think of more answers and reasons I am doing things.  It makes me question myself a little bit more than normal. 

I want to get to work simplifying my life in terms of possessions.  I think the word everyone thinks about when they hear that is minimalism, but I don’t like that word very much.  I’m not going to completely minimize everything, but I do want to simplify things.  I just want to have less possessions overall, because I can tell that things have really been making me feel more uncomfortable lately.  I like the open spaces, and I want to make sure I can enjoy that.  The best way is going to be for me to get rid of some things.

I want to simplify a few of the areas of my life as well though.  I’d like to simplify my computer setup.  I’d like to simplify my computer itself.  I want to have less programs installed on it and just make it easier to do things, at least from a distraction standpoint.  I want to be able to look at my computer a lot easier and just see what I should be doing, or shouldn’t be doing.  In some ways, I know it sounds weak to want to simplify everything, but I think that efficiency is worth more than any artificial feeling of weakens.

While writing that last statement I actually deleted about 60% of the icons off my desktop and a few from my task bar that had just been hanging out there for way too long.  That’ the kind of thing that I just kept putting off and not doing.  It sounds small, but it’s nice to just see a cleaner and less intimidating desktop situation.  I don’t know if it’s going to help me do anything smarter or better, but at least I am giving myself a chance.

I want tomorrow to be a really good day.  I really want to get a lot done.  I’ve been better lately, but I still end up wasting way too much time.  My time on my phone has ballooned up to a point that I really don’t feel comfortable with.  I want to knock that down by a pretty significant amount.  I want to get back down to my 7 hours or less a week on the phone.  I also want to get back to not wasting as much time on my computer by going to worthless sites for no reason.  I need to be more focused with what I am doing.  Fun is great, but need to make sure it’s more focused fun.

I think that is something that I have been doing wrong.  I’ve said it time and time again, but I keep falling into the trap of not being purposeful with my fun and then I end up feeling like I have way less fun.  I need to focus on fun for like 1-2 hours a day and just not waste time on things like Facebook, because I just feel like sipping fun.  It’s not an all or nothing thing, but it’s a matter of efficiency and effectiveness.  Sometimes I am really good at this…. And sometimes I fail big time.

Another thing that I keep telling myself to do, but don’t is get involved in the Discord chat that I have available to me for poker study.  It’s a good group with smart people in it.  I keep telling myself to start checking it more, and then I just don’t.  I create excuses or just don’t do it.  I need to stop doing that though and actually put my mind in the right place.  I finally logged into it again tonight and I have it open on my task bar.  I’m hoping that will change my mindset a little bit.

I think tomorrow is going to be writing in the morning/early afternoon, then some poker and then finish off the day with some cleaning.  Not sure what I am going to do at night, but if I get those three things done, then it will be a pretty successful day.  I will be happy with any result that includes getting those things done.  I have 12 days until I go visit Quinn for a few days.  I need to make sure I make those days count.


Projects on Projects

I only managed to get one article up over the past two days, because I was working on another project.  I have taken to recording and editing a podcast for the baseball league that I am in.  This episode happened to be really long and a bit trickier to edit than previous episodes.  The interview we had needed more heavily edited than past one.  Also, the audio levels were a bit out of whack, so it was a bit of a challenge to make sure that everything sounded good in the end.  Overall, I don’t think I am thrilled with it, but we will see how it turns out when people actually listen to it.  Either way, that took about 6-8 hours to actually edit and get posted.  Way too much time doing that, and not nearly enough time doing other things.

The other thing that caused issues today was that our little rodent decided that eating through my internet cable was a fantastic idea and that I didn’t need internet on my computer.  I was more than a bit annoyed.  I decided that I need to go wireless and avoid this issue from happening again.  This is the 4th or 5th cable he has eaten through, and I just don’t want to keep replacing them every time he decides he gets hungry.  It’s really not worth the time and effort to keep doing it.

The wireless adapter I picked up at Best Buy would not work well for the first 1-2 hours I was playing around with it.  Once I gave up on trying to trouble shoot it and just decided that I was going to buy a new one, it decides that it wants to work.  I have no idea why, but I guess I am not going to complain.  I’m keeping a close eye on the speeds that it says I have and will be making sure that things remain satisfactory.  Hopefully it stays working though and I have figured out a good enough solution for now.  My other options are much more expensive and not something I am wanting to do all that badly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that I need to have happen on a daily basis to make me happy.  I’m not really ready to share that list yet, but I have found a couple of really interesting things while doing my research and thinking about it.  In some ways, what makes me happiest and unhappiest are almost the same thing.  What I would think wouldn’t really matter to me, actually matter more than I would guess that they do.  It’s a really odd feeling overall, but I guess that’s just kind of how things are.  We rarely notice what the small things in our life are until we are forced to really look at it.

I love having chairs out on my deck.  I’ve spent a little bit of time each day out there, either just enjoying the weather or listening to a podcast while I take a break from writing or editing the podcast.  It’s been really nice to have that place to escape to that is so different from the house, yet is so easy to get to.  I think that it would likely rank second on the list of things I enjoy most about the new place we live.  The ability to just escape the house so easily is amazing.  Sometimes I just don’t feel like walking around, and now I have an option to get that fresh air, but not always be walking somewhere.

Tomorrow I really want to get a lot of things done.  Now that I have that podcast done and out of the way, I really want to get going on a few other things.  I want to get two articles written, I want to get some poker played and I want to go for a walk.  It’s a pretty tall order of things that need to be done, but I think I should be able to get it done.  I think I also have to go shopping at some point with Jess.  The shopping thing I am trying not to think about too much, because I really don’t enjoy it, but got to get things done that need to be done.

I think that’s going to be it for now.  I feel rather tired.  So, time to get off to bed and then start the day off right tomorrow. 


The years slowly tick by..... tick tick tick...

I had another birthday today and I am not sure how I feel about it.  I’m sad that it seems like my life hasn’t went very far in the past year.  I feel like I am spinning my wheels, but I also feel okay, because since moving I have done a lot to improve how I am functioning in life.  It’s obviously a short amount of time, but I just feel so much better since moving.  So, my life hasn’t moved very far in a year, but I finally feel like I am putting the things together.  What’s even better is I am in a place that I can keep that going.

I didn’t think I had much to spend my birth money on this year, but I found a few things.  I bought some chairs and a table for out on our deck.  The deck is small, but it’s nice to have a tiny little table and two chairs.  I don’t care that it’s cramped out there, because at least now I can sit in peace.  Tonight, was a great night to sit out there too, because it’s cool, but not cold.  The bugs weren’t really out and I could just enjoy it.  We live in the middle of the city though, so seeing stars or anything is really out of the question.

The other two things I spent my birthday money on were some makeup for Jess.  She broke something a few days ago and it made her sad.  So, I just decided it was best to get her a replacement for whatever it was.  The thing just dropped out of her bag of makeup.  It shouldn’t have broken, but bounced off our carpet onto the hard bathroom floor.  Such is life.  I don’t mind spending my money on that, because it made her happy and it had made her sad to break it on accident.  She had got it as a gift at some point, and when we went to see if she wanted another one they only had one left and the guy employee seemed to think it was something good.  I haven’t a clue what it was.  Something about a highlighter or something.  The box was shiny, so at least that was amusing.

The third thing was a donation to a bunny rescue.  I saw a really sad post on Instagram about bunnies who had testing done on them by cosmetic companies and everything.  I couldn’t not donate to it, because it was so sad.  I can’t foster a bunny or anything, but I was more than happy to donate to them and hopefully help a bunny have a better life.  It wasn’t a huge donation, so not sure how much it really helps, but I imagine it’s one of those things that any amount helps.  I know it’s enough that it could at least pay for food for him or her for quite a while.  That’s what really matters.

I think it’s one of the first time I have done something really good with my birthday money.  I like that more of it went to things for other people than things for just myself.  None of it went to just my pure enjoyment.  Even the chairs and table others will be able to enjoy.  I like that feeling, because it means I am making some kind of difference in the world.  Of course, I only write about it on here and won’t tell anyone else, because that’s just kind of annoying.  I hate when people do that.  Here though, I can just write my random thoughts.

As for what we did today, we ate a big lunch/breakfast, went for a walk, got some candy at a candy shop, played some games, went on another walk around our new house and then ate cake.  It was pretty low key, but that was kind of nice.  It’s the first birthday I have even got to celebrate on my birthday in some time.  Jess is normally too busy for us to make it work.  Finals has a nasty habit of falling on my birthday.  No finals this year though, so things worked out a lot better.

I’m not sure what the next year is going to bring.  I am not even sure what I want it to bring.  I have some goals in my mind, but I want to see how the next few weeks go before I verbalize them, because they may be completely pointless by the time that rolls around.  I want to keep getting better like things have been for a few days now, but I don’t want to get to far ahead of myself.  I want to keep my expectations within reason, because thinking too much and too far is what has gotten me into this mess.

One thing that definitely needs to happen is I need to be working out more.  I was getting decent at it before we moved, but fell off the wagon again, because it just didn’t fit in to my schedule while moving.  I was also pretty sick for a week or so.  Now that I am better and we have moved, I think that I should start getting back into that.  Lately I have seen pictures of a lot of my friends roughly my age or a bit younger…. And it’s shocking how many of them have really gained weight.  It was kind of a huge wake up call.  I need to be careful, because I don’t want to be there.  Granted, I am nowhere near gaining weight right now, but got to make sure it’s not really a worry.

I think that is going to be it for now.  I’m pretty tired and want to get some sleep.  Got a busy morning planned with farmer’s market, recording a podcast and then the likely editing of said podcast that will take some time.  Just keep on getting more skills, that’s what is important.  I will also get some writing done as well, because I’ve been pretty good about that lately anyway, so no reason to fall off that wagon, especially since I even got something out on my birthday.


This song sent me down a path on YouTube...


Maybe I am actually making progress? Let's not jump to conclusions yet...

Something that went well today: I wrote some higher quality pieces.
Something that went poorly today: I wasted way too much time on my phone.
Something I will improve on for tomorrow: Using my phone as more of an aid and not a time-wasting device.
Something I am thankful for: That writing is like a muscle that I can build back up.
Something I must get done tomorrow: More writing and poker.

 I got so much writing done today, it was crazy.  While the overall output my not look like a ton, the last time I wrote three things I wanted to publish in one day was so long ago I am not even sure it ever actually happened.  I know the quality of the pieces isn’t up to the standard I need them to be, yet, but just getting back on that horse is a huge thing.  Just get words on the page and eventually the words will start to sound better.

I want to be getting at least 1 thing out a day, but realistically 2 or 3 things would be way better.  I have blogs, reviews and political pieces that I can write each day and so trying to find 2 or 3 things in a day to write about shouldn’t be a big problem.  I just want to try some different things and see what I like writing most.  Reviews are hard for me to write sometimes, because trying not to spoil things is so hard when you want to make a good point.  My latest review was meant to be spoiler free, but I am not sure I toed that line well enough.  Hard to say really.

I was even more impressed with my output today, because I got like 4 or 5 hours of sleep last night.  It wasn’t even good sleep.  I just couldn’t sleep and then a store blew through Kansas that just made it impossible to keep sleeping.  I played on my phone for way to long and then got up and played on my computer for too long.  Eventually I did decide to start writing, but truth be told, most of this writing has happened in 5 hours and some of that was cooking dinner and then eating it.  I would say the actual hours I spent on writing was 3, but perhaps that’s a bit low.  I don’t think it’s outrageous as a guess though.

I’ve noticed I can write a lot more focused if I am sleepy, but I am not sure my writing is the best in that state.  I need to work on just writing well and focused even when I am not in my best mental shape.  I need to learn to work my wandering mind to just write faster or more.  I think something I am going to do in the future is have two or three words documents open so that I can work on two or three stories at the same time.  While this might sound fairly unproductive, I think that it will help get my ideas out in a good way.  I could also decide to just put those ideas in a notebook and save them for later, but just letting flow happen seems like a good thing to do, because I can write 1,500 words in an hour if I want and I don’t want any of my pieces to actually be that long.  It’s not like I don’t have the time to be doing it then.

I had a talk with myself last night, and I realized that unless something changes here in the next couple of weeks I am probably going to be going to work at a call center, and I don’t really ever see myself leaving that field if I go back.  I don’t want to be overly dramatic, but I am at the point in life that I need to either make something happen, or I am going to have to be happy with just getting a paycheck.  Making $15 an hour to answer phones isn’t the worst thing.  I’d rather have a cooler job, but it’s decent money.  I just know if I am willing to accept that fate yet.  I want to believe maybe something better is in front of me, because at some point, you need to stop lying to yourself.

It was weird to have that talk with myself, because it should have struck fear in me, but I wouldn’t say that was he feeling I had.  I have more of a resignation that I was right.  If don’t change that I am doing, then yea, that’s what is going to happen.  I don’t have that thing in my head anymore that says “nah, you will do more than that.”  I shouldn’t have that anymore either, because I’m nearly 28, and if you have even started to go down a career path yet and have no idea what you would want to do anyway, why would something change?  Maybe working in a call center for a few years would be a good thing for me though.  Maybe it would help me realize what is really going.  I’m not sure though.  I don’t want to find out, to be honest.

I’m going to really try to work at some stuff, because I don’t want to end up in a call center, not yet.  We will see if this writing actually becomes anything.  I’m going to force myself to write and publish things every day.  I don’t think that I will make any money off my writing.  I think that my writing will give me a resume to then go get a job with someone else.  That’s kind of the goal.  We will see though.  I just don’t really know at this point.  I feel resigned, but that feels good in some ways.  It’s more realistic.  It’s less dreamy, but gives me a feeling of what I want to avoid.  I guess that at least there is a bottom though if I reach it, it’s not a continuous falling of not knowing where I will land.

I guess I should explain why I think it will be a call center.  I am good at talking.  I can talk pretty easily and naturally to people.  I don’t think I end up in sales though, because I don’t want to really sell anyone on anything and I hate being pushy.  It’s just not what I enjoy doing.  OS I think I end up in a call center answering questions of angry customers.  It’s mind numbing work, but someone must do it.

We’ll see what happens over the next couple of weeks.  I would probably think I have less time to really figure things out, but I am traveling so much in June, that getting a job really isn’t going to be worth it.  Cedar rapids, Chicago and then likely North Dakota are all on the slate.  Maybe if something crops up over the North Dakota weekend I could miss that, but I don’t want to miss those first two trips.  So, no reason to really push things too much yet.  There is also the fact that we are good on money, so needing to push myself into obscurity right now just isn’t something I need to do.


You look different, is that a new shirt?

Something that went well today: I survived Meatless Monday and No Sugar Added Sunday!
Something that went poorly today: I wasn’t as focused as I needed to be on a few tasks.
Something I will improve on for tomorrow: Not wasting time flipping among the same sites again and again.
Something I am thankful for: Living in our new apartment.
Something I must get done tomorrow: Get some writing done.

Lot’s of changes, as you can clearly see, not only on the site, but also in my life.  I’m going to be making even more changes, but got to start somewhere reasonable first and then will add more things.  The changes to the website are much needed and should have been made a while ago.  I’m going to start writing more as well, because I need to get a portfolio built up. I realized that most of the pieces that I was using were 2-3 years old and I just don’t think that’s what I want to be showing to prospective employers at this point.  I want to be able to have 3 political, economic or entertainment articles that I can pull from the past 2-3 months at any point that I think will help me land a good writing gig.  So, to do that, I need to get my output up a pretty significant amount.

Also, made some pretty big changes to my diet, or at least how I am approaching it.  We started doing Meatless Mondays and No Sugar Added Sundays.  They are pretty much exactly what they sound like.  Sunday isn’t as hard as I thought it might be, but when you have both days back to back, it’s pretty difficult.  I’m going to have to really work to find things to eat for a hearty and balanced dinner on Mondays, because without meat, I am going to have to change what the main course of my dinner has been for about the past 10 years.  It’s only one day a week, but still, it feels like a lot.  I also want to significantly cut down on the red meat that I am eating.  In the end, I would like to be eating red meat 1-2 times per week, but for now I am going to aim for 3 times a week.  This means a significant increase in fish (mostly salmon and Tuna), chicken and pork.  It all comes down to I want to get healthier, but I don’t want to completely change my life.  I know that sounds kind of unreasonable, but I think small baby steps are a much better way of doing it.  Hopefully in a few years I won’t even recognize my eating habits.

We moved just over 2 weeks ago now.  It’s been a huge change, but one of the better changes I have had in my adult life.  I can walk to Target, Hy-Vee and numerous other places.  This is huge, because it finally allows me to feel useful on a daily basis.  I really like this feeling, but it’s not one I have had for a while.  Previously, going to the store or even a gas station was basically impossible.  So, I was trapped to only run errands while Jess was available.  Being able to expand my freedom and be a contributing member of the family has helped me feel better about my place in it.  I think it also removes some of the stress that jess feels, because she knows I can grab something for dinner without her needing to do it after a long shift, or us needing to plan it way ahead of time.

The hope from this is also going to be that it is going to cut down pretty significantly how much we eat out.  It’s become a bit of a problem for us.  We aren’t super tight for money, but cutting down how much we eat out is not only good for our health, but also can help us start to save money.  I think we were eating out a solid 2 times per week, which is anywhere from $60-$100 in a week depending on where we were eating at.  This is completely unreasonable.  So, if we can cut it down to once every 10 days, which is only 3 times a month, then we stand to have an extra $250 or more.  This is of course the stretch goal and will take some time to get there, but you got to have those big dreams.

Money is such a weird thing, because even when you are fine on it, you would like to be even more fine with it.  We did gut our savings to make this move to a nicer apartment in a great location.  It’s going to pay off big time over time, but it’s going to be a little while until we can recover what we had before.  We have a few very specific savings goals in mind right now, but I don’t want to get too far into the specifics, because that just seems like a bit too much to be sharing with everyone right now.  I can say that we did get a nice little amount stashed away from this month and if we can keep doing that every month we are going to be in a good place.

 I’m so happy to actually get something written again, because it had been so long since I have written anything for this blog.  My writing overall has been almost non-existent.  I just haven’t been able to get anything good out.  It feels like every time I try to get something on paper it just sounds like trash and I start over.  I did write one short story a few weeks ago, but I am not sure how good it actually was.  Jess never got around to reading it, and I really didn’t push the issue.  I think that writing some articles and short stories to get back into the groove are going to be key for me.  I’m not going to be able to get into a true good writing groove until a bit down the road, but the more words I pump out and the more things I get out there for people to read is going to help.

All right, I think that’s good for now.  It’s not the best update, but it’s something and coincides nicely with me relaunching the site with a new design.  I kept a lot of the same colors, because I couldn’t make a site without having some green in it, but I decided to keep it a bit more subdued than previously.  Also, dark theme all the things.


First Ed Sheeran song I have actually liked.


I'd love to put the pieces back together....

When things are bad, they somehow have a way of compounding themselves even further.  I have a crappy laptop, I know this.  It has a hard time saying connected to the internet and can’t do any kind of heavy lifting.  Normally, this isn’t much of an issue, because I have my desktop and don’t really go that many places.  That’s not true right now though as the internet at our house is out, and Google Fiber hasn’t be able to send anyone out yet.  They said it will be Wednesday before it gets fixed, but I am hoping that I can keep calling enough times to see if they have any open slots that I can get that moved up.  I have no issues being that annoying person to get something I would really like.

The reason I really want internet back is two-fold.  Working in a café is actually kind of hard for me with my current setup.  I can’t get the computer at a good angle so that I can see it easily and type well.  I want the screen higher, but as with most laptops I can’t do this without getting the keyboard at a fairly uncomfortable level.  I wish I could make the screen about 6-10 inches higher while keeping the keyboard where it is at so I can type right now, but can’t do any research.  Reading just hurts my back after a pretty short time.  It’s not fantastic at all.  I want to get a surface or an iPad Pro, but those are both kind of expensive.  They would solve my problems though, so hopefully in time I will be able to get one of them.

The other reason I would really like internet back right now is I spent a lot of time thinking about how I would like to change things and what was important to me.  I started with no assumptions and just laid out all of the good, bad and neutral things in my life and in my mind.  I then put everything in order of me wanting to get rid of them or start doing them.  I was a bit surprised at where some things ranked for me.  A few things that I thought were more important to me just didn’t end up being very high on my list of things I wanted to do.  So they are getting cut.

The internet comes into this though, because the top 2 things that I want to start doing more of I need the internet for.  I want to keep working on poker stuff, but above that, I want to get a portfolio of writing done and then maybe see if I can get hired by someone else.  I’m going to approach it a bit different than just a portfolio though.  I’m going to start a politics/economics site and write 2-3 articles a day on it.  I’m going to see what happens with it.  Either I make a bit of money from it (unlikely) or I have a good portfolio to use when I want to start applying for jobs.  I see it as a win-win situation overall and I would love to get a start on it.  Without internet thigh, that’s pretty much impossible.

When I get my internet back I am also going to change some stuff on my computer so things work better when I don’t have internet.  I didn’t have access to any of my games, because Steam couldn’t connect.  I need to change that so I don’t get left without game in the future, because it’s just a really annoying things to have happen.  I also need to make a change to my Plex settings so that they work better when I don’t have internet.   I have it set so it needs HTTPS for connection, but that’s an issue with you have no internet.  I still got things working anyway, but an easier way of doing it would be nice.  Just someone house keeping stuff to take care of.

Of course, my sleeping has also went to crap.  I’ve been sleeping just kind of whenever, and right now I am working on staying up for 24 hours, because I have a few things I want to do this afternoon and I would really like to enjoy the nice weather.  So if I can stay up until 4 in the afternoon, which is going to likely happen then I will have the 24 hours.  I would like to actually stay up until around 9 or 10 and then try to get a more normal sleeping pattern going on, but I am not going to get too ahead of myself et.  It’s hard to stay awake with no internet sometimes, because if I sit down to read when I am really tried there is little chance I will make it long.  Video games are great for tired activities, but I lack a lot of those right now.

I think that’s pretty good for an update.  My laptop is annoying me enough that I think I am going to get this posted somehow and just head home.  Far to annoyed to keep playing this stupid game with it.


Things kind of suck right now.

I’ve had some pretty good highs and low the past few days that have all ended in a low.  It’s been pretty disappointing to say the least. For the most part I try to stay positive about being blind, but sometimes life just gets me really down about it, because I don’t the chance to do things that I should be able to do, because of said blindness.  Last week I interviewed for a job being a leasing agent for an apartment complex.  The interview went really well and later that week I had a meeting with the district manager of the same company.  That also went well.

I was still thinking that I wouldn’t get offered the job, because I had no experience and there is a lot of reason they would likely rather go with someone else.  Well, I got surprised and was offered a job with a contract on Monday.  I signed the contract and emailed it back to them on the 14th.  I was exceptionally happy.  I was going to have a good paying job with paid time off and holidays for a few months at the minimum would get to see if I would enjoy that line of work.  Then Wednesday happened.  I got a call asking for my driver’s license number.  It had been on the application, but I didn’t fill it out and the manager didn’t care.  Turns out you did need one, even though it was nowhere in the job description or in the interview.  The reason you need one?  So, you can drive a golf cart, just in the off chance you need to.  I kid you not.

I then explained why I didn’t have one, and explained this this would fall under ADA (American’s with Disabilities Act.)  HR then informed me that it didn’t fall under a reasonable accommodation to just have someone else drive a golf cart, even though the manager said that this happens, very, very little.  So essentially since I couldn’t get a license to drive a golf cart that never actually needs driven.  While this is the most directly way I have not gotten a job from being blind, it stings about the same, because I was actually offered the job and then had it taken away, even though a reasonable accommodation was well within reach.

The rate for unemployment among blind individuals is up over 70%, and it’s not really hard to see why.  While I am wanting to work, finding a job that will actually allow me to work at it is almost impossible.  I’ve had numerous jobs I am more than qualified for not offered to me, because I was blind.  While they can’t say, I am blind, it’s pretty easy to see it was that since everything had been going well until I informed them that I was blind and it wouldn’t affect my job performance.  Of the three jobs, I have had, the managers have told me that they are willing to take a chance on me even though I am blind, because I was too qualified to not.  The third one I didn’t even tell them I was blind.  That’s staggering when you think about it though.  Me being blind nearly trumped being overly qualified for jobs.  Not everyone who is blind has jobs they are overqualified for to apply to, or worse they are not good at interviewing which I can say I am at least decent at.  Of course, blind people do have jobs and some are very successful, but the stories of those who are not nearly as successful are more numerous.  When 70% of a group of capable adults doesn’t have a job, then there isn’t something wrong with that group, there is something wrong with society.

Now we are seriously looking at new apartments and we have even gone on tours of 3 of them now we realize that what I need in an apartment really makes it hard for us to get everything we are looking for.  If I could drive, then I could choose a place that was in the middle of a nice suburb with no problem.  I can’t drive though so I would like to be near a bus route of some kind and for there to be a store within walking distance.  Now walking distance for me is much closer to a mile, not a few blocks really. Finding this though is not nearly as easy as it might seem.  Apartments that are decent that don’t have crappy ratings are either expensive or secluded from the bus routes.  Of course, this is because poor people take the bus and why have poor people be able to get to your apartments if you have no desire to have them in your complex.  So basically, if you are blind you just get lumped in with the poor people and you are just going to have to deal with it.

Just one of the great perks of being blind.  Find it hard to land jobs, make life harder for those around you and don’t get the apartments that you want.  It’s.... I’m not really sure what the correct words actually are.  Everything feels a little hollow when trying to describe it.  I don’t have it as bad as some, there is no doubt about that, but some of those that have it worse don’t care they have it worse.  I still have a roof over my head, I have people that support me and overall my life is good, but my life feels like it doesn’t have the high-end capability that it would if I wasn’t blind.  I feel like there is this thing that will hold me back.  I think for the generations after me things will be easier and eventually it won’t matter near as much, but many of the people that are hiring me grew up in a generation where if you had a disability it was game over.  That’s not reality anymore, but those people aren’t making the important decisions right now, at least not yet.

I think that’s going to be all for tonight.  At least that I am not Trump, I can always hang my hat on that.


i need to find the building materials for my bridge.