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Wednesday
Sep062017

The first step is complete, now the hard part starts.

Well, I finally decided what I am going to do with my life.  It was kind of a long road coming, actually.  I had it narrowed down, but was waiting for that last little push to tell me exactly what I needed to do.  I’m going to go back to school and become a teacher, most likely in English, because I know I can do that.  I’m not 100% sure when I will go back, but I am kind of hoping to do it within the next 12 to 18 months.  A lot depends on me securing some kind of financing to do so. 

FASFA isn’t an option for me, so I am going to have to get a job to make tuition payments while I am going to school OR going to have to save up enough beforehand.  One of those is much more realistic than the other.  The other issue is I need to decide what school I will be going to.  University of Missouri Kansas City is an option, but it’s not a great school.  University of Kansas is also an option, but that becomes pretty difficult not living in Lawrence.  We could move to Lawrence, but then Jess has to commute 45 minutes for work, and that’s a pain for her.

There is also that she wants to go back to school, so maybe moving to where she wants to go to graduate school eventually would be a smart thing to do.  There is a lot of things that still need to be decided.  It’s very early in the planning stages, but I am using this reset button I was gifted to the maximum that I can.

The next steps are going to be figuring out some of this stuff, and hopefully we can figure out a bit more about that over the next couple of weeks as Jess and I have time to talk about it.  I also need to decide what I think would be best for me.  The good thing about the options is that all of them are options and we can make the best decision for us, and not the only one that is available.  It’s nice to have those options.

I also worked on what my goals for next week are going to be, and I am going to make them simpler. I got a bit too far out on what I wanted to do.  I knew I should try to avoid that, but I did it anyway.  I actually deleted a few podcasts, took chrome back off my phone and unsubscribed from Audible again.  I’m just spending way too much time on things that don’t matter.  It’s not going to get me where I need to be, and will only hurt me long term.

I think one thing I got addicted to was trying to improve my process, but I wasn’t actually doing anything with all that improvement.  I was improving this theoretical thing that I could implement, but that really doesn’t do me any good.  Theories don’t actually get you results.  They are fine to tweak things once you have something going, but trying to build something all these fancy theories is just going to cause you to lose site of the forest in the trees.  That’s what I did.  I knew better, and I still did it.

I’m redoing my music library right now, and it could not make me happier.  I’m taking only what I listen to the most and moving it over to Spotify and then just going to burn the old thing down.  My music collection just got so big and I was having it just to say I had a lot of songs.  I wasn’t really enjoying it.  So, I am going to move the most important pieces and enjoy that.  I’m discovering some new music along the way too.  It’s been really refreshing, and I am glad I finally decided to do it.  It’s taken some time, and a bit of pain, but it’s nice.  I feel like I need to hold a funeral for my iTunes.  It’s been with me for a long time, but time to burn it down!!!!

I feel freer and light right now. I feel like I am getting rid of a lot of burdens that I have felt for a while now.  I’m just trying to make everything in my life feel good and more completely.  I know which direction my future is going to go, but I also feel like I know more about what I want as a person and what I need to do to be who I want to be in the future.  We will see.  The easy part is done, the hard part starts now.

 

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